Everything:
This is going to be a little shorter because the days and weeks are starting to blend together, I'm not sure what I've posted about, and not too much has even happened. The biggest thing was the Rotary orientation, which I wrote about in my previous post. Aside from that, I've just been going to school.
I haven't yet hung out with anybody yet but I have made efforts to do so and I think they're going to pay off! I heard that students who don't hang out with friends very often end up regretting it. I don't want to regret a missed opportunity. So I talked to the other exchange students and we all want to hang out together this weekend or later in the week. I also found out a party that a kid in my class is having and he invited the whole class on Friday night. Then on Saturday, there's a small little Oktoberfest in a town near by (Esterwegen) that some of my exchange friends are going to. Hopefully I'll be able to join them. I also texted Lena, Zoe's best friend, to see if she would want to do something this weekend. She told me that she and her sister (we want to meet each other) would try to figure something out for this weekend. So I'm making progress!
Something new, I went for a run today. In my free time. When I didn't have to. According to Ulla, the path I did was about 2.5 kilometers which is roughly 1.5 miles. I downloaded a running app so that I can keep track of my progress in running. I listened to the new album from Cage the Elephant; I recommend. I want to be able to do very well in Sport class but also get in shape and become healthier. So I took the first step. Literally. In Sport on Thursday, I ran 800 meters in 3 minutes and 40 seconds. That almost killed me but right after I finished running, it began to rain. So like the child that I am at heart, I danced a little bit in the rain. It was fun. And in that moment, for some crazy reason, I was at one of the happiest points I've been this whole exchange.
There have been 2 other memorable moments where I was that happy. The first was when I was in the back of the convertible car that my family has. We were driving back from Meppen, the roof was down, the weather was beautiful, the music that I was listening to was good, and I was just loving everything about that car ride. I appreciated the fresh air, my crazy hair, the bright green trees, the blue sky, the small German road. All of it. And the second happened at the orientation when Party in the USA came on, followed by High School Musical, and everybody knew it. Dancing with all the exchange students and not having a care in the world felt so good. It's those little moments that make life worth living.
And my last main point, I have been here for a month. A whole month has gone by since I arrived in Germany. This past month flew by so quickly. Time just moves faster here because even when I'm living it, it still goes fast. I miss my family and friends. I talked to my family when I got back from the orientation and it was really nice to see them. I haven't cried since I've been here but I almost cried upon seeing my dog <3 and then I told my parents that the only thing I wanted from home was the cat.
Rhapsody 2:
I've had a hard time trying to explain the feeling that I have without it sounding too sad. Because it's not sad. I want it to be more hopeful and beautiful rather than sad. It's the feeling that I don't belong anywhere; I don't know where "home" is yet. Living in so many different states, I always thought that Colorado was my home. It's where my family (my mom especially) was happy, and it's where I was born. So when we moved back there, I thought "this is it, this is home." And for a while, it was. There were times where I was unhappy but it was mainly stress from school work. I really believed that Colorado was my home because I was back where I was born, I was happy, and I had a lot friends. But then I left. Leaving my so called "home" showed me that it wasn't really home. Many of the friendships I had weren't deep connections. I'm doing fine without my friends because I knew how to handle it; I've done it enough times. I've had practice. It may just be because I haven't gotten too homesick yet or that my host family is amazing, but coming here hasn't been too hard. It's shown me that I have the ability to move to a new place where I don't know anybody, and create a life for myself. But despite creating this life, I don't feel like this is my home. All of this has brought me to the realization that home is not a place. It's the people that are around you. I just feel a little lost because I don't have my family.
This was all just my way of saying that my family is my home. Maybe one day, I'll find a place with someone/people that will make me feel like that place is home. But for now, I just gotta keep on living until I find that special place.
Photo Gallery:
The first one is the one with all of the inbounds and outbounds (mentioned in my last blog post). I can be found on the left side of the first American flag. The second one is a street in Oldenburg that we walked down to go bowling. The third one is me at the bowling alley, posing with the stature of liberty. And the forth is tea and cake, a common snack here in Germany.
